Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
