Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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