i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
love makes seman taste better
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
