Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
