I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
