I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
