If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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