hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
