Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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