Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
