I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
