she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
