so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Vodka?
Forever.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
