you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
