We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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