Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
