you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
