Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Drake has all the answers
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
