ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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