Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
