I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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