Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Come on in and take your pants off
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