Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
