One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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