My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So vagazzling was a success
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
