toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
