ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
