I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
