You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
