David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
