Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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