I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
