so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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