honey bunches of taint.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
