he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
