you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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