i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
