So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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