saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
