Do you still have your period?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
