Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
no. you can't hotbox the world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
