some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
