come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
