i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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