No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
