Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
