Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
