Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
