Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
