i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
