you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
